Monday, March 28, 2011
So what do I do now?
When I read his response back to me tears welled up in my eyes. He is right and I just needed to read the words. I didn't do this, my body changed because of a really bad disease, I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't cause this but only I can have faith in me and I have to make that choice to have faith. I never imagined I would wake up on St. Patricks Day in my 28th year of life and no longer have a colon. The thing is though is that we don't foresee circumstances like disease or loss because if we did we would find a way around them or be able to prepare ourselves more. I used to have this delusional thought that when I was older and had a partner and children that my colon would stop working then and not now. I look back at my thought process and think it is silly because who am I to control when my colon decides to stop working. So here we go on a new journey in life, one that lacks a colon that didn't work well in the first place. I am a survivor and my ostomy and I are going to keep on going. Maybe I will become an activist for one more thing in life, maybe that was my destiny. Right now it is too early to tell where I am headed but I know it will be good!
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